I'm a Mess

By Janise Johnson, Virginia State University

I am a mess

Both inside and out

Contradictions run amuck

Who I want to be

Conflicted with who I am

Uncertain about who I need to be

No one knows the real me

You perceive only the facets I choose to reveal

Because the truth be told,

You don’t want to dig that deep

Into this battered soul

Full of misguided, misled innocence

With moments of guilt and shame

Unknowingly

But knowingly

Right, wrong, and indifferent

I carry my mess

Holding onto it like a mark of distinction

I went through this

I went through that

All protecting me from new experiences

Meeting new friends

Revisiting old acquaintances

Protection and survival mode

It is all relative knowledge I hold

About the Author

Janise Johnson, Virginia State University

Janise Johnson is a senior transfer student and Creative Writing major and Virginia State University. She is an Army veteran, a mother, a grandmother, and a retired federal employee. She is also a business owner and has written the first edition of her monthly newsletter, “The Black Veteran.”